Total Pageviews

Friday, February 3, 2012

I am an Angel




An angel I am says a facebook app,
Sarcasm and ambivalence for myself,
conflicting thoughts and cold feets,
Had to draw it down after a li’l gap ;)



An angel I am says a voice from within,
Who makes you cry and makes you smile,
Angel with feelings and emotions..
But doesn’t show ‘em often
An angel all human,

An angel I am says the voice from above,
An angel sent or a fallen angel,
To feel, to breathe, and be living here,
And to do it like it’s all an unpleasant chore,
Or a kind that’s sent for a reason or few,
But latter seems so strangely unlikely to be true.
Could be a fallen angel heaven needs no more!

Courtesy: Philip Thomas


Of You




Of hope is the feeling I make of this,
When I want and I wish you to be;
In ups and downs, in struggles of life,
In my happiness, right beside me.



Of anxiety is the feeling I make of this,
When I struggle to find words to express me,
Though in my mind am pretty clear
Though I know you are the best I could have
I don’t know how to tell my love
I don’t know when I could overcome this fear

Of love is the feeling I make of this,
Its not that I haven’t felt this before,
For each time it was something new,
And in my search for eternal love
I find myself smiling at you.

I don’t know how this is going to end,
Like all times or something different.
But at this moment when I think of you,
You are what when I wear my best smile.

Courtesy: Philip Thomas


Don't Give Up On Life




O flower dont you shrivel down as yet
I look around you and find fallen trees,
Broken branches and scattered leaves
Afar a dark horizon and its not even sun set
Enough to suggest there was a storm through
Enough to show you did a hard time...



But its gone and dont you let go now
You stayed standing, strong, alive somehow
Dont go vulnerable for another storm
Dont go weak for a reaching hand to pluck
Dont go gentle into the night
I know it was hard on you
You dont have to go hard on yourself
Hard so much there will be thornes on you...

Realize yourself you are a fragrant flower
Your smell, your sight.. just stay the way you are
For some reason you didnt go down
When it was still the time for you
And for that reason which you dont see
Realize you are alive and you were meant to be...

Courtesy: Philip Thomas

Being Me




Don't you dare play with my emotions,
Coz' I myself do a good job at it.
I love, & love & love even more
When I’ve been hurt at times, i know


I respect, though I don't get it back,
I'm loyal, though it doesn't pay me good,
I work hard & people see right through,
I dare dream, & barely saw any come true,
I smile at times when no one expects me to,
I hide that fact that I’ve cried
I was not proud when I’ve lied
But I'm working on making things right...

I gave my little heart to some,
It got back either unused & at times hurt
But that didn't stop for just one more
And this time too I'm not too sure...
Jus coz I’ll hurt myself shouldn't stop me,
From loving, from being good, from being me...

Couresy: Philip Thomas

The Lost Journey With Myself




An empty land, an empty soul,
A walk, a voyage in search for a reason..
A reason to breathe, to love, to live; again
I knew the road, I’ve walked here before
But there used to be a different song

There used to be always someone along.




I find broken branches, fallen trees, the ruins
Looking at me for an answer,
Why did you let everything decay?
Why did you left what once was eden?
But to all these inquest I had nothing to say.



I have wronged them; a feeling sunk in.
I let down some souls waiting for me,
Knelt down with my face to the ground,
The blues setting in as a cloud upon me.

I am better, better than this, I said to myself.
I’ve had worse, and have stood up without any help.
But why can’t I do it again, (‘cause am only human)
Pick up the scattered pieces of me,
Stop getting stumbled upon this slope
Plant myself a flower in what remains of my heart
And Might as well name it my "absolute hope"! :)

Courtesy: Philip Thomas

Heaven Sends Angels



Everytime we think we can take it no more,
Find ourselves in right in the middle of a sea
Struggling and longing for a view of the shore
Heaven sends angels, our own little angels for you and me


These little angels dont have halo’s above,
But they fill the surrounding with an aura of love..
They dont sport wings, no orbs, no flames,
Like you and me they have regular names.

Still in the sea, you reach out for there hand,
They give us a smile and show ahead the land.
Still smiling over you they then boost you to go,
Suddenly you find courage and you could wonder how.
Someones watching over you and it feels good to know,
And thats why going ahead to the shores seems so easy now.

You reach the shore and start gathering your breath,
Thank the heavens, for you just evaded your death.
You look for the angel who was there all along,
Looking as far as you eyes would allow
But wouldnt find that little angel who stayed till now.
The angels gone back where angels belong.

To another drowning man, to save another soul,
To everyone who’s lost hope an everytime in a new role.
We meet these angels and sometimes become friend,
They would touch our souls and touch our hearts.
These angels sometimes dont stay till the end,
But till they leave they have become our own parts.
They show us the way in their small little stay,
These heaven sent angels.. which heavens taketh away..

Courtesy: Philip Thomas

Stronger than You are...



Surprised to see the people around me,
Surprised of their character, their strength, their life
Surprised how much they could take,
Surprised how they knew little about this,
Surprised they didnt realize the difference they make.



Been talking to them so much lately,
Been listening to them so much lately,
Been trying to be there for them,
Been proven how naive I was, lately.

They cry and they laugh.... and they cry again,
But they dont do it in front of the people they know,
They’ve been down, they’ve beaten over and over again,
But hide their bruises, just dont like to show.

They think they are weak, cant take it no more,
But stand up every time they hit the ground.
They think they live an “others life”
But what they are is what anyone else wouldnt be, around

They make smiles amidst there personal gloom,
Sometimes there solitary nights complain, but mornings resume,
They complain of their tears they say cant hold,
But what I see is a decent pain threshhold,
They complain to themselves of being weak, while still feeling their scar,
But I say they are stronger than they think they are.

Courtesy: Philip Thomas

Friday, January 27, 2012

The Vulnerable Woe



Walking down the street she chuckled and giggled,
On this lonely lane she was walking unruffled.
On a call, obvious, with a special someone,
A blush in her voice, a glow that’s beat the sun.

Beyond the dusk on the other side of twilight,
Street lights taking effect where the only things bright.
She hung up.. with a longing smile,
As if she where in a marooned isle.

Back in her purse went her phone,
.. she raised her head to an unfamiliar lane.
Perhaps a wrong turn, she was all alone,
She turned.. her smile faded in wane.

Four rugged shadows pacing up her way,
Struck with a feeling at being all at bay
She turned on her heels with fright and scare,
Even a look from corners of her eye, she couldnt dare.
Slow to brisk, she paced up,
Sound of the boots too began to gain up.

Speaking to herself, she panicked,
..at the sight when the shadows eclipsed.........

She found herself in the darkest end of the street,
She cried and tried standing up on her feet.
Pushed down again by the haunting shadow,
..and the air filled up with a unpleasant echo.

They pushed her, nipped her, stripped her  down,
Fought hard and it took four to take her down.
Like dogs around her, they sniffed and preyed,
As if was trash, she was spat and played.

When it was all enough, she was left to ruins.
They pranked and hooted at their mocking chivalries,
Laughed and growled as seasoned villains,
They looked and despised what left of her as a disease.

Couldnt not scream out more,
Could hear them fading away far.
Could hear a windows close not so far,
Could hear a squeaking door...

Phone rang half out of her purse,
At sight of caller, thought what would she say?
What, when, why did she had this curse?
No answers .. numb, inert, once living heart.. there lay..



Courtesy: Philip Thomas


Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Disturbed Chamber




He lay there on the bench looking at the sky,
Looking for a sign sayin its all a lie.
The night got cold.. more than he has ever been in,
Pierced and cut through his two layered clothing.
His eyes grew red and gave out his phony tough act,
As tears came down, he couldnt hold on to his pact.
A helping heart, a consoling hug, looked out for an loving embrace,
Wished for a shoulder to cry, words from an empathizing face...


But he knew.. knew well enough that help would never come,
Knew too well that he was on his own.. knew all the outcome,
Leaving home he knew the road wouldnt be a smooth ride,
But he knew, from life, he needed a place to hide..
Thought he would start afresh in a life far away,
But he knew well enough all was not going to be his way.

Struggled out of his thoughts he came back where he was,
Wiped out his tears and slapped himself back to sense.
Pulled up his tough act and a mustered a smile in pretense,
Thought of what he planned and thought for all the flaws.

He felt the silence creeping the night.. was getting late,
Sleep deprieved eyes, every part of him hurt,
He thought hard but struggled to remember when he last ate,
Everything he did falling apart and everything ina disconcert.

Curbed his emotions, his mental breakdown,
Closed his eyes hid himself from everything around.
Jeered up himself, for a new day awaited..
Awaiting was a new life in this unfamiliar town.

From behind the mountains the sun scattered gold,
The piercing whether suddenly turned pleasant cold.
The voices around were more than in his head,
He sat up on his temporary one night bed..

If he were here, he wished, on a outing retreat,
He would enjoy the morning, the smell and the scene.
Trek around the mountains and the town streets,
He would explore new corners in places unseen.

He wished hard on the thought which was not be real,
It was about time he got his act in place..
Found himself in the open, in middle of a rat race.
Realized he better find something for his meal.

A ready backpack, laces up, up for anything that came his way,
He set out to find food, which he'd thought least mattered,
Only to realize he wasn't left with a penny, two steps forward.
Struck  by sudden void thougt, of loved ones from whom he went astray.
He stood their silent and couldnt dare move ahead,
He now was face to face with a nightmare most dread.

What would he do, where would he go, how will he feed himself,
Searched for answers with his half filled eyes,
Which were now glued on a bread at a tea shop shelf,
All that he believed in life, in a matter of seconds, felt like lies.

A sudden adrenaline pump rushed through,
In a matter of seconds he knew what he’d do.
He’d go there undedected, would try to blend in,
Reach for the bread and make a run for it.
He could outrun ‘em, atleast thats what he thought,
He started slow, with sheepish effort, a pumping heartbeat,
Eyes on what he most desired , his mind most besought.

He got closer and closer and closer, closest that he could be,
..and turned away the last moment...
Couldnt change what he was in end, said “I wouldnt be me”!
Smiled and walked away from what he neednt...
A silly feeling of being proud what he didnt do,
Realised this temptation was just  preview.
For this moment he would’nt regret what he could have done,
Smile on his face, a funny tummy sound.. life had only just begun... :)

Courtesy: Philip Thomas


No Turning Back




I saw me lately...
Saw what I used to be...
The time I barely spoke..
And now I jus' can't stop (after startin i.e.)
But still I went back to "me"...
To see the one I used to be...


I came back to now... smiled at this...
Me now has nothing there to miss.
Changes changed me,
But changed me for good...
I wouldn’t go back,
Even if I could...
I realize now it's not wrong to share...


Courtesy: Philip Thomas




Labels

angels (1) anxiety (1) being me (1) breathe (1) change (1) character (1) courage (1) cry (1) dream (1) embrace (1) emotions (2) empty (1) eyes (1) feeling (1) flower (2) girl (1) give up (1) happiness (1) heart (2) heaven (1) home (1) hope (2) human (1) hurt (1) I (1) laugh (1) life (4) listening (1) live (1) lonely (1) lost journey (1) love (3) loyal (1) me (1) mind (1) morning (1) myself (2) people (2) reason (1) Relationships (1) remember (1) respect (1) road (1) scream (1) shoulder to cry (1) silent (1) smile (4) smiles (1) smiling (1) soul (2) street (1) strength (1) strong (1) stronger (1) struggle (2) surprised (1) tears (2) thoughts (1) trees (1) turn back (1) villains (1) voyage (1) vulnerable (1) vulnerable woe (1)